ALICE AND THE POSSESD SEWING MACHINE
by withlovekalie
Summary: A pearls before swine cartoon that i thought fit alice perfect. R
1. Chapter 1

Ha ha ok this was formed out of a pearls before swine cartoon. And I can see this happening to alice.

Heres the actuall cartoon:

Pig: our sewing machine keeps acting up.. its like its possessed or something

Mouse: how come everytime a stupid applicence acts up people say its possessed?

Sewing machine: I love satan. I love satan.

Mouse: call a priest.

Ok so its really funny when you see the cartoon.

Disclamer: I don't own pearls before swine. I don't own any twilight characters. But I do own the possessed sewing machine… ok im getting word that I don't own that either. Man I don't own anything!!

Alice: dang it !!

Emmett: whats up alice?

ALICE: our sewing machine keeps acting up.. its like its possessed or something

Emmett: how come everytime a stupid applicence acts up people say its possessed? I mean has anyone asked the sewing machine how it feels?!!? Come on alice how could you be so racist.!?!

Alice: Emmett… don't get so mad over something so strange.

Emmett: god alice you didn't even ask the sewing machine felt about it.

Emmett storms out of the room

Sewing machine: I LOVE SATAN. I LOVE SATAN.

Alice: umm can somebody come get me im scared…

Carlise: whats wrong alice?

Sewing machine: I LOVE SATAN. I LOVE SATAN.

Alice: that's whats wrong.

CARLISE: oh I see. We are going to have to destroy it you know.

Alice: I want to see it burn MWHAHAHAHAH.

CARLISE: Ahem.

Alice: lets video tape it burning.

Carlise rases his eyebrows in question but doesn't dare ask alice why she wants to video tape it.

………………………………………………………………………………………………

Later that night. All the cullens and bella standing around a camp fire when alice brings out the sewing machine.

Bella: alice why are you carring that sewing machine tward the fire?

Sewing machine: I LOVE SATAN I LOVE SATAN.

Alice: does that explain it?

Alice walks over to the fire and throws the sewing machine in.

Sewing machine: I LOVE SATAN I LOVE SATAN

Everyone thinks the sewing machine is dead and will never come back again.

But what happens when the fire gets put out and its still alive? Tune in next time for what will alice try to do to the possessed sewing machine!

APPLASSE!!


	2. Chapter 2

Ha ha ok this was formed out of a pearls before swine cartoon. And I can see this happening to alice.

Heres the actuall cartoon:

Pig: our sewing machine keeps acting up.. its like its possessed or something

Mouse: how come everytime a stupid applicence acts up people say its possessed?

Sewing machine: I love satan. I love satan.

Mouse: call a priest.

Ok so its really funny when you see the cartoon.

Disclamer: I don't own pearls before swine. I don't own any twilight characters. But I do own the possessed sewing machine… ok im getting word that I don't own that either. Man I don't own anything!!

AFTER THE BONFIRE

Edward looks into the fire and there is nothing but ashes.

Jaspers in the study reading

Alice laying on her bed thinking what her and jasper were going to do be for the sewing machine

And Rosalie and Emmett. Ermm… theyre doing SOMETHING if you catch my drift.

All of a sudden alice screams.

Jasper, Carlise, Edward, Esme all come running in.

EVERYONE BESIDES ALICE: OMG WHATS WRONG ALICE

Alice: that dang sewing machine is back

Sewing machine: I love satan I love satan.

Alice: ARGHHHHH!!!

Emmett: oh oh lets blow it up!!

Alice: but Emmett wernt you defending that it should have rights this afternoon?

Emmett: well that was before I knew it was a satan lover.

Edward: YOU IDOIT THAT'S WHAT POSSESED MEANS!!!

Emmett: well I still want to blow it up

Emmett sticks tounge out at Edward.

Jasper: you know what im going to stay out of this. Ill be in the study if you need me.

Carlise and Esme: ditto

All exit exepct Edward Emmett alice and the posseed sewing machine.

NEXT DAY

IN THE MEDOW

WITH EXPLOSIVES AND THE POSSESED SEWING MACHINE.

Emmett ties the sewing machine to the rocket and sets it alight while Alice films its.

Edward decides bella and him are going to stay out of it.

Alice: 5 4 3 2 1 blast off mwhahahahahahahahahahhahah

SEWING MACHINE: I love satan I love satannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

Emmett and alice high five and exit the scene.

2 MONTHS LATER WHEN BELLA AND Alice are sitting on her bed looking through magazines.

Knocking sound at the door

Alice: come in !!

Sewing machine enters

Sewing machine: I love satan I love satan

Alice: ACKK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

EMMETT ITS BACK!!!

Sewing machine: I love satan I love satan

Tune in next time for what will alice try to do to the possessed sewing machine!

APPLASSE!!


End file.
